Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Expect the Unexpected

Today we went for a routine pre-op contrast test.
And it didn't go so routinely. I mean, we had been warned that there were risks as with all medical procedures, y'know, so we didn't really think much of it.
We went from the Imaging Center to the PICU. One thing I have to say for the trip is it was fast. Bubbles was crying during most of the transfer, and they did not want me to feed him, and you KNOW how slowly time passes for a mother who can do nothing to comfort her miserable child. All I'm saying is with lots of help, we were transferred up to the PICU in record time.
Did I mention it was a routine test? I didn't even have a pacifier with me, much less carpool plans for the others. Whatever. I did have supper lined up, since I knew I was going to be out for a few hours in prime supper making time.
I stayed while Bubbles was made comfy and re-acquainted with his "pulse ox" and IV and catheter and other goodies. I may be painting that too strongly - he fell asleep on the last lap up and slept through it all. I did find my bearings with all the now-familiar paraphernalia. An especial feature of this go round in hospital is antibiotics. I was told that I could hope to bring Bubbles home in a day or two, once the medication stabilizes the situation. It all sounds very major on paper, it really didn't seem such a big deal in person.
Daddy picked up the others from school and heroically got them through lots of questions and supper and homework. Then, as he was giving a class tonight, and Bubbles was sleeping comfortably and cared for, I came home for bedtime and to sit with the kids.
I found I could not tell my son "there, there, you're all right" with any truth to it, so I sufficed with a lame "you'll be okay. you'll be okay". At one point I realized that I meant it. With G-d guiding his care, how can he NOT be okay? On second thought, maybe this is the new okay. This is a gift, this chance to recognize how much can go wrong, and how much doesn't go wrong.
I tucked five boisterous, healthy, happy youngsters in bed tonight. I changed diapers, in the usual fashion. I applauded strong efforts in schoolwork. I was hugged by many arms, just long enough to twine round my neck. I am truly blessed to be given this contrast test (home chaos shows up so much better on a background of hospital beeps) to help me recognize and appreciate my blessings.

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